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I believe that there is a gray area in religion and that it's not as black and white as you seem to portray it.

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I respectfully disagree, as the Bible is very clear in what it teaches us. We're the ones who muddy the water by trying to understand it without the help of He, the Holy Spirit.

As far as the special needs kids go, Jesus said "Suffer little children and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

Only those who know right from wrong, who know they are lost, will be held accountable by God.